fuck survivor poems
i don’t write survivor poems
i don’t write about the journey
from a survivor to a thriver
from a wounded child to a
bad-ass feminist revolutionary
that is not me most of the time
i don’t write about healing
about forgiveness
about grief and letting go
i don’t write about strength
i don’t write about the courage to heal
and i never want to hear again
oh you are so courageous to speak out
about your story
that i haven’t even began to tell
i don’t write to inspire
i don’t write about finding purpose
about finding jesus
about finding self-love
i don’t write about the truth
because truth is too fragile
like a particle whose location and velocity
cannot be simultaneously observed
i write instead
about the lack of counseling
that is actually competent and affordable
i write about the fake sympathy
and the lynch mob that robs me of my rage
and repurposes it to build more prisons
i write about the need for validation
even if our survival involves slashing on the wrist
not eating overeating and purging alcohol drugs
avoiding sex having too much sex
i write, in fact, about survival
through not just the abuse from the past
but survival in the society that doesn’t give a fuck
i don’t write survivor poems
because my story is not for your consumption
i don’t write a coherent and compelling narrative
and i don’t exist to demonstrate the resilience of the human spirit
i write survival poems
i survive
31 january 2011
[…] myself have used the word “survivor” for many years. But as I began questioning “survivor” narratives and exploring negative survivorship as a compelling alternative to the cult of compulsory […]
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